If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize