woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
this hospital has no fireball
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
