wat bout pragnant strippers??
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
