and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
