Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
