she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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