Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
