i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize