the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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