shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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