Whod you bang
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
