Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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