Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
