the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize