Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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