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spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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