i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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