3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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