I wish my penis had an off switch
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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