I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
