He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
