why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
