its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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