Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
