We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
