All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
