me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
