dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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