Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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