Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
