They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
