And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Is this like a preordered booty call?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize