This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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