WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
