so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
