I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
