woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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