I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
