First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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