He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Someone signed my nipple.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
