Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
