No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
