Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
