she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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