no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
