So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
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