The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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