Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
