I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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