Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
