he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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