What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
