she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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