I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
