No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
