i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
