This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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