next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
