feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
