addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
